Constantly trying to be a better version of yourself?
WORKSHOP 2.
COPING WITH MIXED FEELINGS
SUNDAY 13 NOVEMBER
10.30-12.30 GMT
WHAT IF TRYING TO BE 'BETTER' IS ACTUALLY MAKING THINGS WORSE?
Every mother I know is on a self improvement mission.
We know that we should make time for self care. We don't, and end up frazzled.
We know that we should more present. But we get distracted and feel overwhelmed.
We know that we should correct the behaviour and not shame the child. But we end up shouting anyway.
We find ourselves in a vicious cycle of trying to make a fresh start and then feeling even worse when we make the same mistakes the next day.
And whether we realise it or not, we spend a lot of time trying to live up to what we think a good mother should be (hint: ever present and loving).
BECAUSE BEING THE 'PERFECT MUM' IS DAMAGING FOR US AND OUR CHILDREN
The irony is that trying to live up to this image in our heads of what a better mother would be or do actually stops us from being present and connected with our children.
The pressure to be happy, loving, and calm all the time:
- Teaches our children to strive to be perfect (as they watch us trying to live up to impossible standards)
- Leads to stress and burnout (as it's simply unsustainable to get everything right all the time)
- Gets in the way of good parenting (as you end up feeling tired, snappy, and resentful)
- Is often anxiety in disguise (as you try to control everything to feel better about yourself)
BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE IS ANOTHER WAY?
Once you start to dismantle the unrealistic standards you have been trying to live up to, everything becomes much easier. And you find that you have more capacity to be the loving, present and connected parent you want to be.
This workshop will enable you to:
1. Recognise that conflicting emotions are normal in motherhood
Do you love and loathe aspects of motherhood? We will look at how this is not necessarily a ‘bad’ thing. Accepting that you are not always going to feel happy and loving is key to building an authentic relationship with your child.
2. Develop ways to regulate your emotions when you feel overwhelmed
Do you find yourself snapping and shouting and then feeling bad about yourself? We will look at how to recognise when you are becoming stressed and anxious (before you react) and how to come back to a place of calm.
3. Repair with your child (and yourself) when you react
Do you feel that you've got into a negative spiral and want to start over? We will consider what stops us from being loving, present, and connected with our children, then what to do when things have got off track.
4. Reframe 'negative' emotions as information about things we might want to change
Do you feel that certain emotions are forbidden to you? We will reflect on where some of these messages came from and gently start to turn towards the feelings that your children may be triggering for you.
I'M ALI.
I am mum to Clem, who, since she arrived 10 years ago, has been the single biggest force for change in my life.
I am a psychotherapist and mindfulness coach. I help other mums navigate their own way through the unforgiving territory of modern motherhood that often leaves them feeling unseen and inadequate.
Join me on a journey of self-compassion, where we can begin to see that we are truly 'good enough' mothers.
"Ali has a way of making you feel so understood! I came away feeling like a weight had been lifted."
Amy
"The workshop was so helpful. It made me realise I'm not alone in feeling this way and it helped me to understand the changes I've gone through since having my baby."
Mel
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Here are just some of the things people typically want to know. Please contact me directly if there's anything else you are unsure about.
Will the workshops be recorded?
What is the benefit of attending live?
I need to be with my baby/child, can I just listen in?
I can't attend the whole session. Is that a problem?
What if the workshop days / times don't work for me?
What if I don't identify as a mother but would still like to attend?
I love this workshop series! What else do you offer?
