Stop trying so hard to be a better person!

I've been thinking about why it is so difficult to be kind to ourselves.

I've come to the conclusion that one of the reasons is because we are on a never-ending self improvement treadmill.

There’s a large part of most of us that thinks we should do better, be better people, become better parents.

In that context, being kind to yourself can feel deeply uncomfortable.

It’s like you are slacking off.

You feel like if you ceased to - do all the things, listen to all the podcasts, read all the books, try all the strategies, attend all the programmes - you would have no chance of being that better person.

So you continue to think ‘must try harder’ and ‘could do better’ which are actually subtle - or not so subtle - manifestations of your inner critic.

And yet, interestingly, research (Breines & Chen, 2012) shows that self compassion actually increases motivation

* to make amends when you’ve done something wrong
* to keep trying following an...

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